Saturday, August 19, 2006

Preznit's Signing Statement to Judge Taylor

Upon being shown a copy of Federal District Judge Anna Diggs Taylor's ruling in ACLU vs. NSA (Case #06-CV-10204), Preznit G. W. Bush -- breathing laboriously, his tongue sticking out between his teeth, his brow furrowed with effort -- painstakingly scrawled the following signing statement:

"I did not read this alleged decision. I am not going to read this. I am not going to have anybody read this to me. I forbid my staff and the entire unitary Executive Branch to read this. You can tell by their responses that Attorney General Gonzales and Whine House spokesman Tony Snow have already not read it, and I affirm that all of us in this Administration will continue not to read it. This decision does not exist. It is a figment of the imagination of the self-loathing Godless welfare-cheater atheist gun-outlawing agnostic home-school-hating Muslim terrorist-supporting hippie Commie dope-fiend pinko bedwetter black-loving Al Qaeda-befriending liberal business-trashing traitor anti-American socialist pro-abortion gay homosexual wimp-dog Lesbyterian coward media that hates our soldiers, our values, and our Commander-in-Chiefness. Laura, put the goddam thing down and don't try to explain anything."

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