Playing Whack-a-Mole with a Nutjob Broadcaster

Talk Radio Network
P.O. Box 3755
Central Point, Oregon 97502

Dear Sirs:

I have no idea who Michael Savage is, nor what dubious qualifications, if any, he possesses for propounding his poisonous and dictatorial views on the air under color of a public license. I have (mercifully) never heard of him, nor before this evil day had I ever listened to him, in my life.

But as the father of young children I was appalled, nauseated and outraged by the torrents of filth coming out of his (no doubt pustulent and carious) mouth at 570 kHz on the radio at about 7:15 pm Eastern time on Wednesday 30 November while I was on my way home from work.

I gather he makes what can only be a miserable, malicious and misanthropic living in radio. Thus, in addition to documenting his abhorrent spewage for the broadcaster and advertisers, I took notice of his repulsive antics to the FCC, where that nice young President of ours has appointed a new Chairman. My FCC obscenity complaint number is FORM475B: 05-WB11242121.

What grabbed my attention was when Savage was describing the plight of some decent young woman who happened to find herself pregnant outside marriage. He stated that it was “perverted,” to use his odious term, to believe that she required the normal, civilized amount of modest privacy in which to deal with her condition. Neither I nor my pastor can see that her father or mother have any need or duty to breach her privacy in the matter — unless Savage was suggesting that either or both of the parents were present at the inception of the pregnancy, in which case the parental fates can be determined by the normal, severe action of the criminal law.

Once sensitized to Savage's prurient, squalid and salacious imagination, I then heard him speak the psychological term “homosexual” as though it were in quotation marks. I couldn’t be sure over the radio, but I rather fancy they are the same quotation marks with which the late, unlamented Dr. Josef Goebbels of the Reich used to surround the anthropological term “Jew.”

The reason I make the connection is that the squinting, disgusting, spittle-encrusted hatred with which Savage and Goebbels pronounce the two terms is identical, and clearly Savage wants to have the same effect that Goebbels, prior to being hanged, intended. What a dismal joke in that Savage sounds so very Jewish and homosexual himself! Or perhaps it is only that he is from New York. But in either case one would think he would be better educated, and certainly more well brought-up, than he demonstrably is.

All this calamity befell me because I misprised the schedule and tuned in for Capitals hockey on what turned out to be a day early! Well, I am at least content to have done a spot of civic duty by reporting Savage's verbal sewage to the proper authorities, who I hope will suppress him from the public airwaves on account of his rampant sexual indecency, as they seem to have done to that Harold Sterne fellow. You never hear him on the radio anymore, you know, and I trust Savage will soon be joining him in a perpetual, penurious and pluperfect public silence. I shall pray for his despicably slime-encrusted soul, of course, but truly, being conclusively an imbecilic scatmonger, he must not henceforth be allowed out in civilized society.

Kindly have him expunged from your lineup immediately, as you would remove the rotting corpse of a dead raccoon or other rank and deliquescent vermin from your driveway.

Faithfully yours,

The Slangwhanger-in-Chief